I am an inconvenient person.

Despite being raised on catholic guilt, a year of all girls episcopal school, and four years at the straightest job known to man I have managed to tenaciously cling to my authenticity. There will always be people pushing you to be what is most convenient for their needs and goals. It’s one of the greatest challenges to know yourself and to stay on the path to what you want even if it means being an inconvenience to others. As it turns out, I’m exceptionally good at being inconvenient.

New Work:

Suspension of Disbelief

I never paid it much thought before, but recently after watching a movie, I realized that I have almost super human capabilities when it comes to the suspension of disbelief. Let me tell you, it is epically awesome. Maybe I should be more concerned that I get so completely lost in made up worlds & stories but I glean far too much pleasure from it to question its consequences. It can take a mundane day and flip it on it’s head.

The subsequent realization that I had was that I do it all of the time. Not just with films & books but with theater, dance, nature, architecture and art. I do it looking at other peoples art and I do it while I’m making my own. I’m completely transfixed when I work, traveling to places & meeting people that are compilations of experiences, scenes, & imaginings. I do it walking down the street. A full grown adult daydreaming like a five year old and I catch myself smiling at the scenes unrolling before me. Mash-ups of the path ahead of me & the path in my head.

This work, including the one that just came off of the loom above, are woven sketches. Impressions of that place that exists within but reaches out to play with my vision and dance through my senses with the material world.

In The Studio: Just Off The Loom

Sometimes it takes years for an experience to come to the forefront again & shape your future for a second time. Like reading a book twice, years apart, each time you glean a much different understanding and it has much deeper effect. That’s been exactly my experience with weaving.

In Anticipation & In Memory

When I weave I get into an unbroken rhythm of thought. It brings up memories & thoughts that live between my mind’s youth & adulthood.  In that state I seem to be protected from the disillusionment that comes with being an adult, somehow suspended between anticipation & memory. Both work in much the same way, in anticipation we await all of the best potential parts of an experience and in memory we simply edit it back down to the most delicious bits.

In Progress:

In The Studio:

The latest finished work to come off of the loom:

I have been thinking a lot about the Hopi creation story as I weave and would like to share it.  Spider Woman’s story:

In the beginning there were only two: Tawa, the Sun God, and Spider Woman, the Earth Goddess. All the mysteries and power in the Above belonged to Tawa, while Spider Woman controlled the magic of the Below. In the Underworld, abode of the Gods, they dwelt and they were All. There was neither man nor woman, bird nor beast, no living thing until these Two willed it to be.

In time it came to them that there should be other Gods to share their labors. So Tawa divided himself and there came Muiyinwuh, God of All Life Germs; Spider Woman also divide herself so that there was Huzruiwuhti, Woman of the Hard Substances, the Goddess of all hard ornaments of wealth such as coral, turquoise, silver and shell. Huzruiwuhti became the always-bride of Tawa. They were the First Lovers and of their union there came into being those marvelous ones the Magic Twins — Puukonhoya, the Youth, and Palunhoya, the Echo. As time unrolled there followed Hicanavaiya, Ancient of Six (the Four World Quarters, the Above and Below), Man-Eagle, the Great Plumed Serpent and many others. But Masauwhu, the Death God, did not come of these Two but was bad magic, who appeared only after the making of creatures.

And then it came about that these Two had one Thought and it was a might Thought — that they would make the Earth to be between the Above and the Below where now lay shimmering only the Endless Waters. So they sat them side by side, swaying their beautiful bronze bodies to the pulsing music of their own great voices, making the First Magic Song, a song of rushing winds and flowing waters, a song of light and sound and life.

“I am Tawa,” sang the Sun God. “I am Light. I am Life. I am Father of all that shall ever come.”

“I am Kokyanwuhti,” the Spider Woman crooned. “I receive Light and nourish Life. I am Mother of all that shall ever come.”

“Many strange thoughts are forming in my mind — beautiful forms of birds to float in the Above, of beasts to move upon the Earth and fish to swim in the Waters,” intoned Tawa.

“Now let these things that move in the Though of Tawa appear,” chanted Spider Woman, while with her slender fingers she caught up clay from beside her and made the Thoughts of Tawa take form. One by one she shaped them and laid them aside — but they breathed not nor moved.

“We must do something about this,” said Tawa. “It is not good that they lie thus still and quiet. Each thing that has a form must also have a spirit. So now, my beloved, we must make a mighty Magic.”

They laid a white blanket over the many figures, a cunningly woven woolen blanket, fleecy as a cloud, and made a mighty incantation over it, and soon the figures stirred and breathed.

“Now, let us make ones like unto you and me, so that they may rule over and enjoy these lesser creatures,” sang Tawa, and Spider Woman shaped the Thoughts into woman and man figures like unto their own. But after the blanket magic had been made, the figures remained inert. So Spider Woman gathered them all in her arms and cradled them, while Tawa bent his glowing eyes upon them. The two now sang the magic Song of Life over them, and at last each human figure breathed and lived.

“Now that was a good thing and a mighty thing,” said Tawa. “So now all this is finished, and there shall be no new things made by us. Those things we have made shall multiply. I will make a journey across the Above each day to shed my light upon them and return each night to Huzruiwuhti. And now I shall go to turn my blazing shield upon the Endless Waters, so that the Dry Land may appear. And this day will be the first day upon Earth.”

“Now I shall lead all these created beings to the land that you shall cause to appear above the waters,” said Spider Woman. Then Tawa took down his burnished shield from the turquoise wall of the kiva and swiftly mounted his glorious was to the Above. After Spider Woman had bent her wise, all-seeing eyes upon the thronging creatures about her, she wound her way among them, separating them into groups.

“Thus and thus shall you be and thus shall you remain, each one in her own tribe forever. You are Zunis, you are Kohoninos, you are Pah-Utes…” The Hopis, all, all people were named by Kokyanwuhti then.

Bud to Blossom: In Progress

There is a heady feeling of possibility in the studio tonight and so much progress has been made.  My belly is full of wine & sweets, thoughts about serendipity & randomness are buzzing in my mind, & in my heart…there sits an amplified mixture of hope & worry. For me, the tone for the day was set by a single line  “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” ~Anais Nin… In Progress:

Studio goes Mobile!

This is my first attempt to blog from my mobile in the studio. So here goes! I love zee technology. I have so many friends & family spread across the world. To be able to communicate so readily with all of you is something that I am infinitely grateful for. The idea of this trans-global correspondence conjures romantic images of letters written with fountain pens on tissue thin paper, that are in envelopes littered with stamps & smudges from their many stops on the way to their intended destinations. While it’s not quite so romantic in our modern day reality, it is remarkable that we are able to share as though we are on the same block instead of separated by vast quantities of land & water. On that note, here are the beginnings of my new weaving.